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Showing posts with label Domestic Violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic Violence. Show all posts

Monday, October 19

Nicole Brown Simpson

I recently watched The-untold-Story of OJ Simpson how he arthritis and stop taking his medicine before the trail. I do truly believe he loved Nicole like all abusers do in their own sick twisted way. This story was the first real big case of Domestic Violence in the world besides Tina Tuner and Ike. When Tina came out and told the world it wasn't ready. Then you have Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown there are so many famous people of Domestic Violence that could have had a huge impact on this subject yet they stay silent. I was really young when this trail happened. He got off because he was famous and Black. It was hard to understand that back then yet it makes sense even today. He played the system he was smart he was rich. Domestic Violence doesn't have a color. It happens to rich,poor, black ,white doesn't matter. Violence among people is wrong no matter who you are. Yes, I guess some races you can say it becomes normal. I don't choose to believe that. If you don't want something to happen you have control over it.

You just have to find that strength deep inside of you to take a stand.


Just because your parents had that life doesn't mean you have to repeat it. Know your worth it will help you. Don't let people punch you slap you call you out of your name. If a friend or family member talks to you about Domestic Violence please listen. Domestic Violence happens everyday all day long. Someone needs to be the voice to get this subject to be the hot topic and it will take someone famous to do it. As sad as that is someone needs a huge pull among society to get the talk to happen. I paid attention to Nicole Brown because my household was violent day in day out. I left when I was 16 never looked back and I still won't. I still did repeat my mothers footsteps. Only for a short time I realized that was not the life for me. That was not what I wanted. I made a choice to leave. It was the hardest choice I ever had to make. My abuser never was charged in the death of our baby. I miscarried which helped make my decision to leave. I wish I left sooner. If someone would have told me that life was wrong. Would I have listen? I'm not sure I just hope Domestic Violence Stops before everyone is lost in the past like Nicole Brown.


Saturday, October 17

No More


This story involves extreme violence and may be distressing for some readers. It has been edited for length and clarity.
You need to choose: them or me. That’s the ultimatum my abuser gave me. You can either have your friends and your family, or you can have me. I was young and in love and I chose him. And said goodbye to the next two years of my life.
I was 21 when we met, and living with my mother and my two brothers. I had tons of friends, a decent job and I took classes at night. Soon after I started dating him, my family told me they disapproved. They saw something in him that I couldn’t see. But I had this Bonnie-and-Clyde type of attitude. You guys just don’t like him because I love him, I thought. Get over it.
The first time he slapped me, I said: This is not going to be me. My mother had been a victim of domestic abuse, and I grew up in Trinidad watching her being beaten by my dad. This is not my future, I swore.
He came back with apologies and purple roses — my favorite color. I accepted the apology. I thought it meant he wasn’t going to do it again. I was wrong. Over the next month, he became more violent, punching and slapping me in private. I didn’t tell anyone about the abuse. I didn’t want them to know they were right.
One day, he got in an altercation with my brother and the cops were called. This is the moment he asked me to choose between my family or him. I felt like he loved me and he was the only person who was on my side. Everyone else was against us. So I picked him. I moved out of my family’s home and became temporarily homeless.
We lived in a motel for a week, and when the money ran out, we lived in his car. He warned me not to call my family. He said if I reached out, they would come get me and we would be separated. He said if I contacted them, it would be the end of our relationship. On top of that, I was ashamed to call my family. I felt I would be judged. Everyone warned me [about him] and I didn’t listen.
For about a month, I was homeless. He would take me to different apartments to wash up so I could go to work. I was masking all of this like it was normal. Finally I was able to save up enough money to rent a studio apartment. He would stay most days and nights there.

“I realized I could have died in that apartment and no one would have known.”

Once we had our own space, the abuse accelerated. Punching, kicking, strangling. Often for hours. He would say: You know how much I love you, right? Your family doesn’t love you like I love you. Where are they right now? They aren’t looking after you like I am. In my mind, I thought I could handle the abuse, I’d be fine. Mentally, you become so messed up that you start to think you are part of the problem.
We stayed together for two years, and I fell out of contact with everyone who was important to me. I wasn’t on speaking terms with my family. I lost touch with my friends. I dropped out of school because it caused too many problems for me to be around other people. He used to pick me up from class. If I was standing near a man — even a security guard — when he arrived, there would be trouble. It was easier not to go.
Work was the only time I was allowed to be out of his sight, but even then, he would constantly call me or show up randomly. If he called and I didn’t answer the phone, he would go crazy. He was jealous of my co-workers. He’d question the length of my dresses when I got dressed for work. Why I was wearing a particular pair of underwear that day. The accusations were never-ending.
One night he beat me so bad I thought I might die. He held a knife over my neck and threatened to kill me. He pummeled me for five hours, punching and kicking and strangling me. He would stop and then start again. Then he just fell asleep, because he was tired.
I felt like something had been broken inside, physically and emotionally. As he slept, I crawled out of bed and took a cab to the emergency room. It was the first time I’d ever sought help.
There, alone in the ER, I hit my breaking point. I realized I could have died in that apartment and no one would have known, because I had no contact with my mother or my brothers, or even my best friend. I was completely isolated.
After I was released from the hospital, I went home and had my locks changed. I didn’t hear from him for two weeks. He eventually called me asking to see me. I said no, that we were done for good. He didn't like that.
One night, he tried to break into my apartment. He was banging and I could feel his body pressing on my door. He was attempting to pry it open with a crowbar. I tried to call the police on my landline, but he had preemptively cut my telephone line in the basement. I believe he had every intention to kill me. Luckily, I had a prepaid phone stowed away. My hands shook as I unwrapped it to call 911. Once he heard me talking to dispatch, he took off. When the cops arrived, I was too scared to open the door.
After that, the stalking began. He would leave derogatory notes on my car:Anybody who fucks Lovern knows that I had her first, they are getting leftovers. I filed a restraining order.
Once he was out of my life, I was ready to restart it. The first person I told about the abuse was my best friend. She was dumbfounded, and she encouraged me to tell my mom. That was a difficult call.
Two years had passed. I was so far removed. I thought I was going to be shamed and judged. She had been worried about me for so long. It was hard to open up about what I had experienced. But together, we started the work of rebuilding our relationship. Over time, my extended family found out what happened. They never asked me about it — they just understood. I was welcomed back without question at Thanksgivings and family get-togethers. I was no longer alone.
Re-entering public life took some getting used to, after such extreme isolation. For a long time, I didn’t trust myself to look guys in the eye, especially men who were talking to me. I would hear his voice. No one is going to love you how I love you, he’d say. No one is going to want you like I want you.
But my own voice got louder the longer I was away from him, and in time I started to be myself again. The smiley-faced social butterfly I once was started to re-emerge. It was OK to make eye contact with strangers, to have dinner with friends, to dress the way I saw fit, to not have to be on the clock constantly.
Looking back, I wish I had sought help — if not from family and friends, then from someone else. I now know that no matter how it feels, you are never alone. You can break free if you trust yourself.
Lovern Gordon, 36, Brockton, Massachusetts

Thursday, October 15

My Soul is free

It's been many years since I remember how you hurt me.
I used to wake up in night sweats running to my son's bedroom to make sure he is there.
Make sure he is alive.
I left so long ago but still shudder at the thought of the pain.
My flash backs seem so real at times.
How your hand hit my face.
How you took advantage of me.
Sometimes I think I see you in the shadows.
I don't talk much in fear that you will find me.
Hiding was never my strong suit yet your emails and letters still come.
You still find me on the web.

Even when I hear your name.
I have to control my breathing as a flash backs hits my brain.
I have no control when I remember something of my past.
I used to cry when they appear.

It used to bother me
It used to continue to keep me in fear.
I still don't sleep as well.
Staying up late at night checking on my son who will never know you.
He will never know the pain.
He will never see you hit me.
He will never hear your voice as you cut me down over and over.
Even if you appear he won't know you.
A lie you say for keeping him safe.
A lie I will hold to my grave.
You don't have control over me today or any day now.

My past won't control me any longer.
My past made me who I am today.
Because of you this will never happen to me again.
Because of you I found true love today.

A man who will cherish my life as his own.
A man who is a father a real father to my son.
A man who never raises his voice.
Never calls me out of my name
A man who doesn't hit me like a punching bag.
Because of you My soul is free today.

-Anonymous Writer
I just received this today thought I would share.



Tuesday, April 14

This is an article by Helen Faulds

I'm always looking for insight about anything that I have blog about. Thanks to Helen she wrote something for my readers.

 HMIC Report: An Improved Response from Police is Required in Cases of Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse is a far-reaching problem in the UK, affecting one in four women and one in six men in their lifetime. On average, two women are killed each week and 30 men suffer the same fate every year. Domestic violence makes up 16 per cent of all violent crime in the UK and has more repeat victims than any other. Some of its direct effects include homelessness, hospitalization for injury and approximately 400 suicide attempts made each year. Things seemed to be looking up when a report was published last year by Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary regarding police response to domestic violence in the UK, since the report pointed out important failures in the system that need to be targeted. The report was the conclusion of a six-month review into the workings of police forces in England and Wales with respect to domestic abuse yet despite its intent, little has changed since its initial publication and police response to violence in the home has now become a matter of urgency. Some of the most important findings of the HMIC report include:
  • The overall police response to domestic abuse is lacking, despite considerable improvements having been made in recent years. In many cases, inadequate service has been provided to victims, and this means that they are placed at an unnecessary risk.
  • Domestic violence is listed as a priority in the Police and Crime Plans of most forces, yet in practice, it sometimes does not receive the importance it merits.
  • Some of the factors that contribute to an inadequate response include:
    • A lack of clear leadership and direction from senior officers.
    • Problems in core activities, especially with regards to the collection of evidence at the scene of the crime.
    • A failure to promote proper behavior, attitudes and actions on the part of officers.
    • The failure to place domestic abuse as a priority when determining day-to-day priorities, routines and assignments for frontline officers.
    • An inadequate feedback system that will highlight the experience of victims with respect to police response. It is vital that the voices of victims be heard; they can provide police with a keen understanding of the nature of abuse and the many forms in which it can be manifested.
    • Police officers need to have the required training and tools they require to provide the right response to victims. Officers need to be aware of the nature of domestic violence, and of the effects it can have on victims, children and society.
    • The lack of priority given to domestic abuse means that often, police miss the opportunity of tracking down aggressors and serious consequences can ensue.
    • An improvement is required in the information technology accessed by officers, so they can obtain more information about the victim or perpetrator when they arrive at the relevant home.
    • Police can find it more difficult to respond appropriately when psychological intimidation is used instead of physical violence.
    • The initial response of officers to a situation of violence is crucial, yet in some cases, victims can appear to be uncooperative out of a sense of future repercussion from the perpetrator or because the relationship is marked by addiction or codependence. Police officers need to be aware of the sometimes ambiguous response they may receive from a victim. The report notes that all too often, the service a victim receives depends entirely on the skills of empathy of the particular police officer involved.
    • A quick police response is not sufficient; officers also need to ensure victims know that they are being taken seriously and that they are not being judged. When these qualities are not present in police officers, it can undermine the confidence of victims.
    • Police officers need greater awareness of who is responsible for what; often, a confusion as to roles leads to inadequate service being provided.
    • The assessment of victims as either high, medium or standard risk cases, needs to be reviewed.
A recent article in The Telegraph has pointed out that too many necessary changes have not been effected, including the recommendation that methods of risk assessment reviewed. The problem is that being categorized as a high risk case is the only way to receive support. When it comes to domestic violence, the risk of violence can easily change from standard to high and police need to focus on much more than merely minimizing risk.
Further reading:
Lwa.org.ukUnderstanding abuse, accessed April, 2015.
This is an article by Helen Faulds
 
 
It's everyone's problem not just yours!
 

Monday, October 20

I Matter

I Matter.


Domestic violence does not discriminate. It occurs in our neighborhoods and in our families. Anyone can be a victim, regardless of gender, race, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or economic status. Abusers control and terrorize our daughters, bosses, sisters, friends, and even our SONS – who are most often abused by their male partners and sometimes their female partners. Join the Empowered Women of Purpose at "I Matter," an event devoted to bringing awareness and healing to the domestic violence epidemic. There will be a candlelight vigil to bring people together to remember those who lost their lives, fought to save their lives and honor anyone who is affected by domestic violence.
http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/node/305



Event date 
Wednesday, 29 October 2014 - 6:00pm
 
 
There are ton of events in your state Please click on the link above and help Stop Domestic Violence Remember it starts with you. Only you can stop the cycle from repeating in your household. You have options to leave now. Don't think you are stuck in world where no one cares. I care My name is Patricia I Matter You Matter I use to think it was my fault I couldn't of been more wrong. Real Men Don't Hit. It was his fault it was his actions that made me scared. I feared for my life and the life of my family. He was the cause of my pain not any more he doesn't matter. I have lived a violent free life for the last 11 years. Still going strong in my marriage. I 'm loved by a wonderful man who treats me like his Queen. I fear No More of coming home to yelling and making up lies to my co-workers about the night before. There is help if you are reading this there are people who will help you get away. A house can be replaced you and your children can not!
 
SAFETY ALERT: If you are in danger call 911. Or reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
 
I Matter My Name is Patricia You Matter What's your name? It's time to leave!

Friday, October 3

October is a start

Break the Cycle


I wish there was an easier way to explain to the world that this is a problem. It's not normal for a man to hit a woman. It's not love when he says he is sorry while you are on the floor in tears apologizing for something you shouldn't have to apologize for. I'm grateful that this subject is getting the light it needs. There are many women who need help twice as many men who don't say a thing. 1 in 4 women are abuse a day. Most of them have children who view the violence as a part of life. It is not apart of a happy family. Please talk to the ones who you know need help. Don't blame them it is hard to see the other side. It's often looked as it's the victims fault when they don't leave. Take it from someone who has been through the pain hell and back. It's the feeling no one will understand. It's the feeling of not wanting people to know what is really going on in your life. The fear that is inside of making your partner mad. Remember fear is Real death is real. A woman is three times more likey to be killed by her abuser then if she stayed. Take a moment and educate yourself go sit in a meeting to try and understand how one feels. Don't be so quick to judge a person.  Listen first with your ears and heart. Love doesn't have to hurt! Please help this October to bring awareness That DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is real. It needs to stop wear purple to support!  

Tuesday, September 9

He said he loved me!

Young, dumb and in love I was running away from my family. I thought he loved me until he showed me that with a black eye. I didn't care I was nothing like my mother he was nothing like my step father. I didn't call the cops. I love him I will support him. I can fix him. I can make him love me like before.  Until a friend of mind seen me in the hallway of school stop to ask why we don't talk anymore. I just allowed myself to think it was better this way. I have to prove to him that he is the only one for me. He doesn't like me talking to other men. He is a little jealous he says I'm pretty. He doesn't want someone else to look at me that way. A kiss before class a whisper in my ear if you talk to him again I will kill him. My love smiles as he walks away. I'm confused he just told me he loved me. Why would he threaten my friend that's all we are, are friends have been for a very long time. Once school ends my love picks me up from my locker we walk to his house. We talked the whole time nothing to worry about then he punches me in the stomach as the door closes.  He Grabs me by the hair throws me to the ground. I hit my head on the cement floor. I close my eyes I grab my head I start to cry. My love jumps on me grabs my face says "You are a whore for talking to another man. I won't allow it. You won't disrespect me." I don't understand why is he yelling at me? I'm hurt he hurt me again. He said he would never do that again. He continued to yell for me to stand. It's hard to open my eyes I have a headache I feel sick I can't see that well. He kicks me my love picks me up. I'm crying telling him I'm sorry I won't do it again. I leave as I walked my bike home. All I can think about is what happen. Why me why is he so mean. It's all my fault why do I do these things. If I never talked to my friend my love would have never hit me. What will I tell my mom? I have to talk to someone I hope my mom is home. I walk up to my house as before I can hear screaming from above. My step father is home he is beating my mom again. I guess I won't talk to her tonight even if I did would she care. All I want to know is why he hurts me so? Is this normal? Who will know? My love beats me my step dad beats my mom. His mom beats his dad. I guess it is this is all I know. I'm trapped in a life I don't understand. I'm scared I'm alone This is #WhyIStayed

This is just a story by an unknown Author

STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

It's not your fault A REAL MAN DOESN'T HIT! Love doesn't hurt like that. Don't give up find someone to talk to talk. Someone will listen someone will help you. Just because you grow up in that kind of world doesn't mean you have to stay. Please seek help. Please don't allow someone to degrade you. Know your Worth Know who you are. Someone special someone who is worthy of being loved by someone who will adore you. Know the signs of an abuser.


Tuesday, October 29

Starting Over

Starting over is a mystery  you never know where you're going to be or where you're going to end up. For many survivors of Domestic Violence that is a decision that will change a life. I have been posting blogs all month about Domestic Violence know the facts  know how to get out. Most of all how do you get out? How do you make that step to another life? You have to re adjust yourself not to jump when there's a loud noise not to be frightened by somebody who gets loud not to look the other way when a police officer shows up not to fear them. Walking down the street having to look over your shoulder is something that I don't think will ever leave you. Making sure your windows and doors are locked adding locks making sure your children understand that protecting them will come first. Living a life after you have been abused for so many years is a challenge as a challenge you live with day to day night by night step by step you have to learn to live all over again. This movie is something that many survivors should watch it's a chance to give you a new perspective on how you can change your life.  It can happen you can go on you can be happy. Don't look back and don't apologize once you're happy you deserve it don't let anyone take that away from you. There is a life after somebody has hurt you man or woman Domestic Violence is wrong. Love doesn't hurt not in a physical way not by the hand not by a kick that's not love.  Please respect yourself please love yourself once you find that love you can find a way to get out. As always be safe!

Sunday, October 27

Real Men Don't Hit

Real men Don't hit! Domestic Violence can touch the life of many people.  Children who see violence will follow violence.  Many people worried about video games and outside violence. When we should really be looking inside every ones home. Don't let your children see their love ones hurt you put you down and beat you. You are worth way more then you know. Please know the signs. Please take a stand no matter who they are or what they say. Love doesn't hurt.
Signs That You’re In An Abusive
Relationship.
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings.
Do you feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
-Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
-Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
-Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
-Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
-Feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Does your partner:
-Humiliate or yell at you?
-Criticize you and put you down?
-Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
-Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
-Blame you for their own abusive behavior?
-See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats.
Does your partner:
-Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
-Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
-Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
-Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
-Force you to have sex?
-Destroy your belongings?
Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
-Act excessively jealous and possessive?
-Control where you go or what you do?
-Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
-Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-Constantly check up on you?
If you have answered YES or some to most of these it's time to get out. REMEMBER it's Not your Fault.  You can't control what someone else does.  You can't change them no matter how hard you try. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself you are the one who will get though to him or her. It won't change they won't change.  There is help Please call the National Domestic Violence hot line.
24/7 PHONE SUPPORT
Trained advocates are available to take your calls through our toll free, 24/7 hot line at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Please it's not to late to start over.

Friday, October 25

Ways to help

List of ways to help for domestic violence awareness month.

1. Host a clothing-swap fund-raiser, where you pass a hat to raise funds for domestic violence shelters. Identify a needy shelter in your area and register your swap (or find one near you) at swapforgood.org. San Francisco pals Brianna Cayo Cotter, 29, and Orli Cotel, 31, (pictured) launched Swap for Good in April with no money (friends helped design the site). Within months, the nonprofit had raised $2,800. Now the swaps are catching on nationwide.

2. Search using goodsearch.com. Type in "National Domestic Violence Hotline," then surf the Internet as you normally would. The site's browser is powered by Yahoo; every time you search, GoodSearch will donate about a cent to NDVH. With millions of us clicking, that's big money!

3.Shop on October 17 at Macy's or on macys.com. If you buy a "Shop for a Cause" ticket, your $5 will go to the Family Violence Prevention Fund RESPECT! campaign, and you'll save 10 to 20 percent on most purchases, plus 25 percent on one in-store item.

4.  Join Liz Claiborne Inc.'s Love Is Not Abuse Coalition at loveisnotabuse.com, to help end teen dating abuse. As a member, you'll learn how to work with educators and legislators to get a dating-abuse education curriculum into schools.

5. Recycle old cell phones, laptops, and other electronics by sending them to Recycle for Domestic Violence (recyclefordomesticviolence.com), and they'll donate to the domestic violence charity of your choice.

6. Text HOTLINE to 85944 to instantly donate $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which connects those in crisis to local shelters and resources.

7. Donate your clunker car by visiting ncadv.org/takeaction/donateacar.php and all proceeds will benefit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, which supports programs such as safe houses, educational initiatives, and policy development.

8. Accessorize with "Empowerment" tees and jewelry at avon.com. The proceeds will go to the Avon Foundation to end violence against women.

9. Tune in to talk radio on December 8, when hosts nationwide will talk to celebs, advocates, and survivors about how to end the cycle of abuse . It's all part of the seventh annual It's Time to Talk Day.

10. Reach out to a friend who you suspect might be in an abusive relationship. "Gently express your concern and ask questions about her situation, and listen without judgment," suggests Jane Randel, the director of the Love Is Not Abuse campaign. "If she shares evidence of abuse, emphasize that whenever she wants help, you'll be there." Encourage her to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

A little help can go a long way. Don't forget to turn Facebook purple for the rest of October.

Sunday, October 20

Domestic Violence Laws

It's very important to keep a paper trail, pictures and any voice mail of the abuse. It is easier to help prove if you go to court.  In any case you should seek protection from the police.  A lot of officers both men and women may not believe you.  Please don't give up that is why a paper trail is very important to have. I have a lot of people who follow my blog from Michigan.  Here is what you can do. Please don't stay silent. 

Remember to keep the information somewhere where your abusers won't find it. 
Maybe at a trusted friends house who will help you leave for good. Be safe!! 

Domestic Violence Laws in Michigan Viewing 3 of 9 Spouses or romantic partners committing violence on each other or on any children in the home is a serious crime that can involve jail time. Every state has its own laws regarding domestic violence. Michigan has specific laws designed to curtail and punish acts of domestic violence in the state. Definitions Michigan law defines a domestic relationship as one in which two people are either spouses or former spouses, in a dating relationship or former dating relationship, have children in common, or are current or former residents of the same household. If such a relationship exists, the laws concerning domestic violence apply to a violent incident. Violence can take the form of physical, sexual or emotional/verbal abuse. If a man threatens to kill his girlfriend, for example, domestic abuse laws would apply even if he made no physical contact with the woman. Child Custody Michigan law allows Michigan social services to take immediate control of any children in the home during a domestic violence investigation they have been abandoned or the agency considers them in danger. Michigan courts can also decline to take jurisdiction over a child regarding a domestic violence dispute if the state is deemed "an inconvenient forum" for the hearing. If a visiting family from Illinois had a domestic violence dispute while driving through Michigan, for example, the state would request Illinois to take jurisdiction. The state also can take legal custody of children in a domestic case if it has concern that one of the involved parties will leave the state with them. Restraining Orders Michigan refers to restraining orders as "domestic relationship personal protection orders." The domestic relationship PPO allows a judge to order the abuser to stay away from the victim and to stop all harassing or threatening activities. It also can give the victim temporary, sole custody of any children until a court can examine the case in greater detail. Authorities frequently issue a temporary stay-away order against an alleged abuser immediately following a domestic abuse incident to allow a "cooling-off" period for both parties. An attorney or a police officer can help direct you in filing for a more permanent restraining order or you can request assistance from an advocacy group such as the Michigan Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence. Additional Statutes Michigan has a five-year statute of limitations on domestic violence charges on both a criminal and a civil level. A woman abused by her significant other has five years to file a criminal complaint or a lawsuit seeking compensation for damages. Local police departments must report domestic violence statistics in their districts to the state police department so the state can keep accurate records of domestic violence incidents.

Monday, October 14

Domestic Violence Awareness month

The mission of the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence (FCADV) is to create a violence free world by empowering women and children through the elimination of personal and institutional violence and oppression against all people. FCADV provides leadership, advocacy, education, training, technical assistance, public policy and development, and support to domestic violence center programs.
Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence logoHISTORY
In 1977, a small group of 14 shelters in Florida formed a network of battered women’s advocates known as the Refuge Information Network. Several years later, this initial organization was incorporated as the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  The Coalition, like the Network, was founded on principles of cooperation and unity among shelters. FCADV serves as the professional association for the state’s 42 certified domestic violence centers, and is the primary representative of battered women and their children in the public policy arena.  Members share the goal of ending domestic violence through community education, public policy development and services for victims.

Florida Domestic Violence Hotline at 
1-800-500-1119 
You are not alone please call today. Make today the day you live another day.It may not be a perfect at first it may make you cry but at least you can take a breath without the noise. A shelter is near take a step today. 

Sunday, October 13

Live



No matter what he says you are Beautiful.

No matter how many times he hit you, you can still get up.

It's the life you are in now but you don't have to stay.

No matter what he says You can find someone to love you the RIGHT way!

Your heart hurts in a way you never thought it could.

He will never stop until you are dead.

It is a chance you will have to take I know it may seem unfair.

It's only one step towards the door don't walk RUN!

Don't ever look back that life is not for you.

Your heart beats as you run.

Your mind is racing in a million directions.

The things you left behind are just that THINGS.

You have your LIFE now move forward.

Don't look back that Life was not meant for you!

Stop the Cycle End Domestic Violence today! 

Plan to get out?

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...
1.  Four places you could go if you leave your home.
2.  People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
3.  Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
4.  Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
5.  How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
6.  How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
7.  Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

ITEMS TO TAKE, IF POSSIBLE
 Children (if it is safe)
 Money
 Keys to car, house, work
 Extra clothes
 Medicine
 Important papers for you and your children
 Birth certificates
 Social security cards
 School and medical records
 Bankbooks, credit cards
 Driver's license
 Car registration
 Welfare identification
 Passports, green cards, work permits
 Lease/rental agreement
 Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
 Insurance papers
 PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
 Address book
 Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
 Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)
      Think about reviewing your safety plan often. Above all Be SAFE!!!
 

Silence kills



Everyday someone is getting abuse someone is getting beat someone is running away to stay alive.  Is it you? There is Help if you want it. Please consider these facts. Did you know every 9 seconds a woman is abused? 

Those who leave are 75% at risk of being killed.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.


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More than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends everyday in the US. 

Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The same goes for little girls who witness their mother being abuse will think and stay because it will be normal to them. 


       SPEAK UP IT'S NOT NORMAL IT'S NOT LOVE!


Speak up it's wrong Please end the Abuse today if not for you for your children. Let your children grow up knowing Love doesn't hurt! 
There are a lot of risk factors in leaving I know I have been there I have been in your shoes. Don't let the fear take over you deserve much more. No matter who you are someone cares Please call for help

    The National Domestic Violence Hotline

                                      1-800-799-7233






Tuesday, October 8

The Purple Ribbon


pinterest.com

The purple ribbon has become a unifying symbol of courage, survival, honor and dedication to ending domestic violence.
Though the purple ribbon’s origins are hard to pinpoint, families and friends have adopted it as a symbol of people who lost their lives at the hands of someone they once loved and trusted.
Purple ribbons are...
  • made into pins and passed out at local events  
  • embroidered on t-shirts, hats and bags  
  • tied to the antennae of police cars  
  • hung on doors  
  • wrapped around trees  
  • draped over fences at murder scenes  
They demonstrate support of victims and advocates, and they convey an important message:
  • There's no place for domestic violence in our homes, neighborhoods, or workplaces. 
  • There’s no need for victims to suffer in silence. 
  • If you inflict the pain of domestic violence, there’s no place to hide. 
Please stand up for those who may not have the courage to right now!

Sunday, October 6

No words needed!




We had our first argument last night, and he said loads of cruel things that really hurt me. I KNOW he's sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he MUST be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today; it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again; it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him but scared to leave. But I know he MUST be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I wouldn't have gotten flowers today. If YOU are against Domestic Abuse, please pass this web site along to everyone - Not just women

I seen this on Facebook not sure who wrote it.

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