Thursday, May 26

I just heard the song Rub You the Right Way by Johnny Gill I wanted to post the video but somehow youtube won't let me hun I will have to post it at a later date. Any how I love this song I can remember listening to this when I was just about Justin' age. I was jamming to it on my way to the gym. This past weekend Justin moved from being a wolf to a bear in cub scouts. The Pack had a camp out and it turned out to be better then what I thought last year it rained. Christopher didn't dig it he is still young. I'm so proud of Jay. He is so persistent both my boys are I think they get that from us. Mostly from their daddy. Jay is such a happy child I love hearing that he is a joy to be around because he is happy all the time. Jay loves to meet new people he is helpful with just about everything. He is starting to like girls I took him roller skating and he was flirting with the lady behind the counter. She was an older lady it was so funny he had to tell her bye he even got off the floor to talk to her several times. I text Steve a picture of his boy at work. I told him it's you all over again. As a man would reply that's my boy he can teach Chris when he gets older. I'm not ready for the dating thing or my boys getting older. It's true he is growing up way to fast. I have a video of Jay playing when he was two telling me he was a monster. What happen to those days he was so little and still cute as ever.  I love the many questions Justin comes up with for now no more penis one although Christopher is trying to pull his off now. Not to mention he is hard as hell to get dress. He is a wiggle worm. Justin cares about his hair now he wants a Mohawk. Once school is out then we will talk.  The other morning Jay accidental put salt in his cereal instead of sugar they are in alike containers.  I couldn’t help but laugh I told him he could get new cereal and not to worry I did that many times rushing out of the house with my coffee.  I’m going though what I would like to call a overlook of my life. I have to say it has been a good wait great life being a mother. Every day brings  a smile to my face. I like the fact that Steve and I told Justin a baby comes from doing your taxes. At the time it seem to be a good thing to tell him where babies came from. Paperwork gets filed and bam a baby is born. We still laugh when someone mentions taxes.  Being a mother also means that whatever they say in rush hour movie won’t be said at school. Dad seems to get all the easy questions I’m okay with the hard ones because I don’t lie to my son. It’s cute to hear him ask why are girls mean then like you the next minute. Women are all evil it doesn’t change some are worst then others.  He just told me yesterday that when he thinks it’s like files on a computer he scans though to get what he wants. Justin remembers everything me not so much I just go with the flow sometimes. I know I’m not perfect no one is whatever you do in life you will never be perfect at it you only get better. I have always tried to live my life to fit me no one else.  I’m emotional at times and fly off the handle rarely unless it’s about my kids. My friend Heather and I are just alike in that department. We tend to think after are temper gets the best of us. Hey what can you say I would die for my children.  I feel  like my heart is in two places when it comes to the boys.  I wish I could say I love them the same but I don’t my love is just right for them and who they are.  Christopher is something I thought would never happen after losing two before him.  Justin and I have grown up together he has made me a better person.  Looking back at pictures of us we are so happy still are because of my hubby. He is a gift from god him self.  Steve is a wonderful man in two months we will be celebrating being together for seven years.  Believe it or not the road has been long,rough and great all at the same time.  I wouldn’t change it. Everyday makes us as a couple stronger. Our kids keep us young that’s for sure.  Gotta go now Christopher needs to be changed motherhood is great!

Tuesday, May 17

Detroit, the Paris of the Midwest

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So I heard that Detroit, is the Paris of the Midwest. It got me thinking Detroit was a beautiful place back in the day. Tons of shopping center and places to eat. It didn't have the bad influences it has now. My great grandpa told me that he and my grandma would pack all the kids in the car to take a drive downtown to see the Christmas lights. I think that would be neat to see how Detroit once was.I guess the layout of Detroit was copied off of Paris. I put in a link so you could read more about.

FILE - In this Jan. 16, 2005 file photo, California ...

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Love Child what is up with that? I always liked that man. The thing that blew me away is that the woman worked for him and Marie for 20 years and he supported the child who is now ten. The lady was married on top of that and his kids he had with Marie played with this unknown child. Marie had contact with this child for at least half of this child's life. That is just too crazy. Off with his head I say. I can't stand to hear about this stuff It's just defeats the whole purpose of getting married. Why cheat on your love one? I'm so glad Steve and I have trust first and for most. We are friends have been for a long time. I think because we were friends first we told each other everything we were able to be ourselves around each other. There was never any pretending with each other and no matter how hurtful something was we told one another.  I think a lot more  people should have that bond with their love one. You should  live with that person first to see if you can live with them or not. I guess I'm lucky my hubby is a man who will clean up after his self ,cook and clean just as much as I do. It's great to share the household stuff 50/50. With both of us working the  house and two kids it gets a little crazy at times. On those days the dishes just don't get done. I can hear my mom now in my head telling me those dishes are not going to wash themselves. lol Gotta love her! I get some of my clean freak attacks straight from her. I guess what I'm saying you should really get to know the person you are getting ready to marry before shit comes out of the closet. Arnold was married for 25 years you think I do meant forever. In today's world it's only for sometime now. Steve and I will be 85 years old dancing in our front yard still married. Marie walked because he cheated and I know that would be the reason for me as well. Once a cheater always a cheater. Besides Steve doesn't want to become a head on my wall. lol He loves and respects me to much to put that kind of pain on me. I think he has shown and proved his love many times. I know my hubby is fateful because I trust him completely. I never have to worry where he has been or where he is going. He always comes home to his wife of six and half years. I love you baby!

Sunday, May 15

Meet Bob

He is our fury little squirrel that has become our pet. He is the best little pet we have ever had. He is not a picky eater in fact he loves bread, nuts, bagels and today grilled cheese.  Christopher has even feed him. He is so cute! He likes to hang out on our window seal to get our attention so we will come out to feed him.

This is for my Brother and His Fiance

On Mother's Day I was a little unsure what to say to my new soon to be sister in law. My brother just lost their little girl in April to a birth defect. It was nothing they did stuff like this just happens sometime. She was five months along. I didn't know if I should buy her anything maybe a card. I knew of all days this one would hit her hard. She didn't even get the chance to know her little girl. When they came over she held Christopher the whole time. I'm not sure if it helps her or just makes it worst.I know what she is feeling. I remember the child I lost before Justin. It was like someone tore out my heart. I felt like I had no reason to live. I was a lot farther then that I was with my recent two miscarriage. She had to give birth to a dead child I could only imagine the pain she felt. They drive around at night to just get away to ease their minds so they don't think so much. It breaks my heart to see them in pain.  I know nothing will replace their little girl. I only hope both of them get the chance to have a little miracle child of their own one day.  I couldn't sleep so I wrote this poem for them.

From the first day I met you and held you in my arms.
Their was a love that had an unbreakable bond.
I will never see you smile.
I will never hear what you sound like.
I will never hear you cry.

I will never hear you speak those words that mean so much to me.
We were told you didn't have too much time left.

I only had you in my belly for five months.

I had to make a choice with your daddy.

I didn’t want you to be in pain.
Then all of the sudden you were gone.
You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Your love cut through me like a knife.
I loved you more than the world alone.
And now I'm alone. I have this emptiness inside that can’t be filled.

Today is Mother’s Day I don’t know what to do.
I try to come off strong but I cry over you every night.

Now they tell me I may never be able to feel a life grow inside me again.
You were too young to be taken like that.

What did I do?

Was it my fault?
How come this happen to me?
Two closed eyes to rest.
God took your life to prove to me, He only takes the very best.

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