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Tuesday, October 29

Starting Over

Starting over is a mystery  you never know where you're going to be or where you're going to end up. For many survivors of Domestic Violence that is a decision that will change a life. I have been posting blogs all month about Domestic Violence know the facts  know how to get out. Most of all how do you get out? How do you make that step to another life? You have to re adjust yourself not to jump when there's a loud noise not to be frightened by somebody who gets loud not to look the other way when a police officer shows up not to fear them. Walking down the street having to look over your shoulder is something that I don't think will ever leave you. Making sure your windows and doors are locked adding locks making sure your children understand that protecting them will come first. Living a life after you have been abused for so many years is a challenge as a challenge you live with day to day night by night step by step you have to learn to live all over again. This movie is something that many survivors should watch it's a chance to give you a new perspective on how you can change your life.  It can happen you can go on you can be happy. Don't look back and don't apologize once you're happy you deserve it don't let anyone take that away from you. There is a life after somebody has hurt you man or woman Domestic Violence is wrong. Love doesn't hurt not in a physical way not by the hand not by a kick that's not love.  Please respect yourself please love yourself once you find that love you can find a way to get out. As always be safe!

Sunday, October 27

Real Men Don't Hit

Real men Don't hit! Domestic Violence can touch the life of many people.  Children who see violence will follow violence.  Many people worried about video games and outside violence. When we should really be looking inside every ones home. Don't let your children see their love ones hurt you put you down and beat you. You are worth way more then you know. Please know the signs. Please take a stand no matter who they are or what they say. Love doesn't hurt.
Signs That You’re In An Abusive
Relationship.
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings.
Do you feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
-Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
-Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
-Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
-Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
-Feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Does your partner:
-Humiliate or yell at you?
-Criticize you and put you down?
-Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
-Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
-Blame you for their own abusive behavior?
-See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats.
Does your partner:
-Have a bad and unpredictable temper?
-Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
-Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
-Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
-Force you to have sex?
-Destroy your belongings?
Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
-Act excessively jealous and possessive?
-Control where you go or what you do?
-Keep you from seeing your friends or family?
-Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-Constantly check up on you?
If you have answered YES or some to most of these it's time to get out. REMEMBER it's Not your Fault.  You can't control what someone else does.  You can't change them no matter how hard you try. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself you are the one who will get though to him or her. It won't change they won't change.  There is help Please call the National Domestic Violence hot line.
24/7 PHONE SUPPORT
Trained advocates are available to take your calls through our toll free, 24/7 hot line at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Please it's not to late to start over.

Friday, October 25

Ways to help

List of ways to help for domestic violence awareness month.

1. Host a clothing-swap fund-raiser, where you pass a hat to raise funds for domestic violence shelters. Identify a needy shelter in your area and register your swap (or find one near you) at swapforgood.org. San Francisco pals Brianna Cayo Cotter, 29, and Orli Cotel, 31, (pictured) launched Swap for Good in April with no money (friends helped design the site). Within months, the nonprofit had raised $2,800. Now the swaps are catching on nationwide.

2. Search using goodsearch.com. Type in "National Domestic Violence Hotline," then surf the Internet as you normally would. The site's browser is powered by Yahoo; every time you search, GoodSearch will donate about a cent to NDVH. With millions of us clicking, that's big money!

3.Shop on October 17 at Macy's or on macys.com. If you buy a "Shop for a Cause" ticket, your $5 will go to the Family Violence Prevention Fund RESPECT! campaign, and you'll save 10 to 20 percent on most purchases, plus 25 percent on one in-store item.

4.  Join Liz Claiborne Inc.'s Love Is Not Abuse Coalition at loveisnotabuse.com, to help end teen dating abuse. As a member, you'll learn how to work with educators and legislators to get a dating-abuse education curriculum into schools.

5. Recycle old cell phones, laptops, and other electronics by sending them to Recycle for Domestic Violence (recyclefordomesticviolence.com), and they'll donate to the domestic violence charity of your choice.

6. Text HOTLINE to 85944 to instantly donate $5 to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which connects those in crisis to local shelters and resources.

7. Donate your clunker car by visiting ncadv.org/takeaction/donateacar.php and all proceeds will benefit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, which supports programs such as safe houses, educational initiatives, and policy development.

8. Accessorize with "Empowerment" tees and jewelry at avon.com. The proceeds will go to the Avon Foundation to end violence against women.

9. Tune in to talk radio on December 8, when hosts nationwide will talk to celebs, advocates, and survivors about how to end the cycle of abuse . It's all part of the seventh annual It's Time to Talk Day.

10. Reach out to a friend who you suspect might be in an abusive relationship. "Gently express your concern and ask questions about her situation, and listen without judgment," suggests Jane Randel, the director of the Love Is Not Abuse campaign. "If she shares evidence of abuse, emphasize that whenever she wants help, you'll be there." Encourage her to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

A little help can go a long way. Don't forget to turn Facebook purple for the rest of October.

Sunday, October 20

Domestic Violence Laws

It's very important to keep a paper trail, pictures and any voice mail of the abuse. It is easier to help prove if you go to court.  In any case you should seek protection from the police.  A lot of officers both men and women may not believe you.  Please don't give up that is why a paper trail is very important to have. I have a lot of people who follow my blog from Michigan.  Here is what you can do. Please don't stay silent. 

Remember to keep the information somewhere where your abusers won't find it. 
Maybe at a trusted friends house who will help you leave for good. Be safe!! 

Domestic Violence Laws in Michigan Viewing 3 of 9 Spouses or romantic partners committing violence on each other or on any children in the home is a serious crime that can involve jail time. Every state has its own laws regarding domestic violence. Michigan has specific laws designed to curtail and punish acts of domestic violence in the state. Definitions Michigan law defines a domestic relationship as one in which two people are either spouses or former spouses, in a dating relationship or former dating relationship, have children in common, or are current or former residents of the same household. If such a relationship exists, the laws concerning domestic violence apply to a violent incident. Violence can take the form of physical, sexual or emotional/verbal abuse. If a man threatens to kill his girlfriend, for example, domestic abuse laws would apply even if he made no physical contact with the woman. Child Custody Michigan law allows Michigan social services to take immediate control of any children in the home during a domestic violence investigation they have been abandoned or the agency considers them in danger. Michigan courts can also decline to take jurisdiction over a child regarding a domestic violence dispute if the state is deemed "an inconvenient forum" for the hearing. If a visiting family from Illinois had a domestic violence dispute while driving through Michigan, for example, the state would request Illinois to take jurisdiction. The state also can take legal custody of children in a domestic case if it has concern that one of the involved parties will leave the state with them. Restraining Orders Michigan refers to restraining orders as "domestic relationship personal protection orders." The domestic relationship PPO allows a judge to order the abuser to stay away from the victim and to stop all harassing or threatening activities. It also can give the victim temporary, sole custody of any children until a court can examine the case in greater detail. Authorities frequently issue a temporary stay-away order against an alleged abuser immediately following a domestic abuse incident to allow a "cooling-off" period for both parties. An attorney or a police officer can help direct you in filing for a more permanent restraining order or you can request assistance from an advocacy group such as the Michigan Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence. Additional Statutes Michigan has a five-year statute of limitations on domestic violence charges on both a criminal and a civil level. A woman abused by her significant other has five years to file a criminal complaint or a lawsuit seeking compensation for damages. Local police departments must report domestic violence statistics in their districts to the state police department so the state can keep accurate records of domestic violence incidents.

Monday, October 14

Domestic Violence Awareness month

The mission of the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence (FCADV) is to create a violence free world by empowering women and children through the elimination of personal and institutional violence and oppression against all people. FCADV provides leadership, advocacy, education, training, technical assistance, public policy and development, and support to domestic violence center programs.
Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence logoHISTORY
In 1977, a small group of 14 shelters in Florida formed a network of battered women’s advocates known as the Refuge Information Network. Several years later, this initial organization was incorporated as the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  The Coalition, like the Network, was founded on principles of cooperation and unity among shelters. FCADV serves as the professional association for the state’s 42 certified domestic violence centers, and is the primary representative of battered women and their children in the public policy arena.  Members share the goal of ending domestic violence through community education, public policy development and services for victims.

Florida Domestic Violence Hotline at 
1-800-500-1119 
You are not alone please call today. Make today the day you live another day.It may not be a perfect at first it may make you cry but at least you can take a breath without the noise. A shelter is near take a step today. 

Sunday, October 13

Live



No matter what he says you are Beautiful.

No matter how many times he hit you, you can still get up.

It's the life you are in now but you don't have to stay.

No matter what he says You can find someone to love you the RIGHT way!

Your heart hurts in a way you never thought it could.

He will never stop until you are dead.

It is a chance you will have to take I know it may seem unfair.

It's only one step towards the door don't walk RUN!

Don't ever look back that life is not for you.

Your heart beats as you run.

Your mind is racing in a million directions.

The things you left behind are just that THINGS.

You have your LIFE now move forward.

Don't look back that Life was not meant for you!

Stop the Cycle End Domestic Violence today! 

Plan to get out?

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...
1.  Four places you could go if you leave your home.
2.  People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
3.  Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
4.  Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
5.  How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
6.  How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
7.  Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

ITEMS TO TAKE, IF POSSIBLE
 Children (if it is safe)
 Money
 Keys to car, house, work
 Extra clothes
 Medicine
 Important papers for you and your children
 Birth certificates
 Social security cards
 School and medical records
 Bankbooks, credit cards
 Driver's license
 Car registration
 Welfare identification
 Passports, green cards, work permits
 Lease/rental agreement
 Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
 Insurance papers
 PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
 Address book
 Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
 Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)
      Think about reviewing your safety plan often. Above all Be SAFE!!!
 

Silence kills



Everyday someone is getting abuse someone is getting beat someone is running away to stay alive.  Is it you? There is Help if you want it. Please consider these facts. Did you know every 9 seconds a woman is abused? 

Those who leave are 75% at risk of being killed.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.


slide 4

More than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends everyday in the US. 

Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The same goes for little girls who witness their mother being abuse will think and stay because it will be normal to them. 


       SPEAK UP IT'S NOT NORMAL IT'S NOT LOVE!


Speak up it's wrong Please end the Abuse today if not for you for your children. Let your children grow up knowing Love doesn't hurt! 
There are a lot of risk factors in leaving I know I have been there I have been in your shoes. Don't let the fear take over you deserve much more. No matter who you are someone cares Please call for help

    The National Domestic Violence Hotline

                                      1-800-799-7233






Saturday, October 12

Pinterest & House projects

If you like Pinterest like I do I'm forever picking something out to try like painting my son's wall with black chalkboard paint. I figure it's one wall and not his whole room. Which he did try and talk his Daddy and & I into painting his whole room black. We listen to his views but NO that just freaks me out for some reason just like getting a Rottweiler as a pet. It's not going to happen not in this lifetime. Here are some pictures It came out better then I thought it would.
However the can of paint calls for two coats I did three it started to chip. I also painted my son's mirror even with three coats it didn't work. Once I wrote on it it peeled away.









Let's talk about a book shelf for my Popsicle room. I tried the standard book shelf but like his big brother he enjoys climbing on things that are not suppose to be used as a rock wall. This also came from Pinterest. A shelf made out of rain gutter's.

First you have to know where you want them measure them mind are about 3 feet long.
Second add brackets to them.
We added the end stops because the edge was sharp for safety plus it gives it a finished look to it.
 We screwed the brackets to the wall just the way we wanted them. We had Christopher stand against the wall to only put it as high as him. I try to make everything easy to reach for my toddler. It's part of learning how to do things by his self. Besides I love every night at story time his face lights up with a smile when he gets to pick out a book.
Finished!!!
I don't know if we will paint the wall or the shelves. Christopher has gone with a dinosaur theme/ super hero's in his room. I know it doesn't go together but what does anymore. He wanted it so he got it. I guess it will come in time. 

Tuesday, October 8

My Awwe moments

If you are a mom I bet you have many of these same moments where it's hard to get out of your head. It's times you think to yourself what would my life be if I didn't have these moments in time. This morning I gave my kids their vitamins for the day like I always do. I gave Justin his first as the same time he was saying "Thank You."
I was saying "Here Chris."

Justin says"What did I do to you?"

I reply "What?"

Justin "You just said who cares,why?"

I start laughing "Why would I say that?"

"That's what I thought you must be having a bad day. You never say that to me." Justin says with a confused look on his face.

I always tell my kids to mind their manners so when Justin thought I said "Who cares." He probably thought the one time I say thank you before she says something and this is what I get. I'm laughing my butt off right now writing this. It was too funny all taking place before school.

In between looking for shoes, homework clothes,milk on the floor. Cereal in the freezer for whatever reason. The marbles I keep almost breaking my neck on not to mind the cat freaking me out. She likes to jump out of nowhere.

Later today Christopher and I took a break from doing his studies we are working on learning the parts of a skeleton right now. I laid on the floor when the cat jumped up on me purring.
Christopher said "She is vibrating."

"She is purring!" I told him

Another moment where I couldn't stop laughing

He says "Well unplug her mommy!"

Like where do they come up with this stuff? I swear I laugh more since I became a mom then I ever did before.  Christopher and Justin have a full fledge conversation. It's the cutest thing to hear my little one ask his big brother how his day was and then my oldest tells him.

Being a mommy is really hard at times I know I'm a mom. Is the most rewarding experience to become a parent to see how much you have influenced your children. You watch the way what you say and do shapes them. It's funny how it's all rolled into one. They are their own person yet there  is a little bit of you and their daddy it's amazing! My son Justin is an amazing athlete! I am constantly getting compliments on how natural he is at soccer and basketball just about any sport he has ever done it makes us as parents very proud of him. My husband just bought our little one for his 3rd birthday a tablet now he wants to buy Justin a cell phone. I don't know about you but I'm not sure about a phone for my son but I know it's needed. Times have changed since I was 10. Christopher knows how to use my phone better than I know how to use my phone. He can take pictures he can call people and he walked in the room having a conversation with somebody. I'm like who are you talking to  he tell me he knows how to hang up he knows how to use my bluetooth it is so funny! My whole world revolves around my children. I love these crazy intense even the attitude justin has inquired lately I love all these moments. My children are growing up to be incredible  people who will soon be young adults. It must mean that my husband and I are doing a great job. I'm sure all the parents that are reading this you are doing a great job too. Just hold on a little tantrum will pass they only hold your hand for a short time make sure you're there to create a new moment everyday. Make time for family fun day as today we're playing uno. Remember to always have fun. Being a parent is a journey! Thanks for reading have a blessed day.

The Purple Ribbon


pinterest.com

The purple ribbon has become a unifying symbol of courage, survival, honor and dedication to ending domestic violence.
Though the purple ribbon’s origins are hard to pinpoint, families and friends have adopted it as a symbol of people who lost their lives at the hands of someone they once loved and trusted.
Purple ribbons are...
  • made into pins and passed out at local events  
  • embroidered on t-shirts, hats and bags  
  • tied to the antennae of police cars  
  • hung on doors  
  • wrapped around trees  
  • draped over fences at murder scenes  
They demonstrate support of victims and advocates, and they convey an important message:
  • There's no place for domestic violence in our homes, neighborhoods, or workplaces. 
  • There’s no need for victims to suffer in silence. 
  • If you inflict the pain of domestic violence, there’s no place to hide. 
Please stand up for those who may not have the courage to right now!

Sunday, October 6

No words needed!




We had our first argument last night, and he said loads of cruel things that really hurt me. I KNOW he's sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he MUST be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today; it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again; it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him but scared to leave. But I know he MUST be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I wouldn't have gotten flowers today. If YOU are against Domestic Abuse, please pass this web site along to everyone - Not just women

I seen this on Facebook not sure who wrote it.

Saturday, October 5

Domestic Violence touches every person!

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

 Domestic violence touches every person in our community and society as a whole; and violates a person’s dignity, safety, and basic human rights. It's wrong anyway you cut it.  Speak up don't stay in silence. I have been working on opening up a nonprofit organization to help victims of Domestic Violence. I started last year but have had a few dozen bumps in the road. It is harder then I originally thought it would be. I took a break from all the chaos a few months ago to breathe. It's hard fighting for something to be heard and seen when people have their eyes closed. Everyone can become trap in this situation at any given time. It doesn't matter if you are rich,poor, white, or black. It happens to the best of us. It's knowing when enough is enough the first time someone hits you or calls you out of your name. Please know the signs if you think what is happening is wrong  it is please get help to leave.





National Domestic Violence Hotline at 


1−800−799−SAFE (7233)





Tuesday, October 1

Laundry Detergent

Mom's Homemade Super Laundry Sauce

One Single tablespoon does a whole load of wash!

Here is an amazingly simple Do It Yourself detergent that doesn't leave any residue on clothing, gets nearly every stain known to man out the first time around and smells clean and fresh- oh and did I mention that it costs about $1.76 for 128 loads of laundry?
Since our teen son started working at a fast food restaurant, this has become our most-loved detergent recipe. His clothing was so saturated with heavy french fry and onion ring grease scent that even washing them in TIDE didn't take out the horrendous smell. I whipped up a half gallon of this detergent and washed his clothes while he was at school- he thought I'd gotten a new shirt from his boss at work! First time EVER that ALL of the smell finally came out of his clothes, without further à deux - here is my Super Laundry Sauce recipe!

Safe for HE machines.

~ This makes 1/2 Gallon of concentrate ~
~ Btw, that's a full 128 loads of laundry!! ~

1 bar Fels Naphtha (Yes, the ENTIRE Bar!)
1 cup 20 Mule Team Borax
1 cup Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (NOT BAKING SODA!!)
4 cups of hot water





                                    Another Pinterest Craft to see if I can do it.
I think I might try this I have no purpose to I just like to try new things since I have been using the Tide pods for two years now.  I never switch from liquid detergent my hubby brought them on sale enough for six months worth. I couldn't believe he brought so many at once but not uncommon when he goes to the store. I remember Justin's face he comes in the front door and says" Dad did it again he went crazy shopping." I just laugh because he had to do a load of laundry jut to see how it worked.  I will keep you updated on if it works out.

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