Getting a Divorce

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal &...

even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

 

 

 

 

This was a must share that I came across this morning on facebook. Take about karma kicking you in the ass! Hope you had fun reading this I sure did. It made my day.

Coming to an end

I'm at 71 days of my P90X program. I have two protein shakes a day. I drink about 74 ounces of water a day. I walk up to 5 miles a day. Besides the cat and my two year old jumping on me while I workout. It has gone better then I expected it to go.

My children join me in the morning to do our daily workout. We never miss one. It's the first thing my two year old says in the morning. It's freaking adorable! As you can tell from the picture above he has it down as my oldest is stretching.

 There have been a few bumps in the road like a pulled tendon, back pain and now my foot is killing me. I have no ideal what I did to it. Through pain comes discipline! I up my band to 60 pounds. I also added my son to my workout. He is an extra 29 pounds. That could be why my back hurts.

I finally was able to beat the one legged man in the video plyometric. I know it sounds bad but that was my goal. If he could do it then I could do it. The kenpo disk was easy because I have a strong background in it. The abs both on P90X and 10 minute trainer is no match for me. I  have an almost start of a six pack.




I guess over all I wanted was to get my figure back from having kids. I'm still not done my next challenge will be Tap out and insanity. I'm really excited to do both of these with my hubby. It's a family affair to keep fit.

I never give up not now not ever. I think that once anyone puts their head to something it's the passion that keeps you going. I don't do it for anyone else but me. I still have a long way to go. I find myself right where I want to be.

Mickey

Hello, My name is Mickey. I have a wonderful family who rescue  me from under a house. They gave me a flea bath which I didn't care for. I'm not sure if I like the little kid they call Christopher. He runs after me. I sleep at the end of Justin's bed. I can now climb on the couch and chairs.I'm about seven weeks old. They are really nice to me and play with me all the time. My favorite game is chasing my humans. They call me the Saber-toothed because of my sharp teeth. I love to drive in my car.

I eat catnip which I find to settle my belly after I have stolen a noodle from Justin's plate. Mac and cheese is my favorite along with turkey but I pay for it later in my office. My advice to other Gato's don't try this at home.

Here is my play house. As you can see my favorite color is purple. I enjoy sitting on the couch next to the kids to watch Mickey Mouse Club House. I only have one complaint that mouse stole my name.

Life is good!