Adding to our family

I have talked before about wanting to have another child. We were set to try which is a whole lot of fun. Then I had a dream a month ago that I was pregnant. Another dream a week ago and Steve tells me two weeks ago he had a dream I was nursing a little girl while he was holding a little girl Christopher was on the other side of him and Justin was sitting on the floor playing. Wow, I don't know what it all means. I looked it up looks like it can mean that one I'm going to have a baby(I knew that I didn't need Google to tell me) or a new journey is going to happen. Well they go hand in hand with each other. I just unpack all Christopher's stuff to sell it in a yard sell. I was upset for two days because I didn't want to sell it. Steve finally tells me on the way to the fireworks about his dream. Then he is rubbing my belly asking how the twins are? We talked and joked about the what if factor. I'm not sure if I'm ready to have another baby. I want one I really do. Just it would ruin my plans for the upcoming year!(laughing) My wedding dress fits perfect now at a size 10. I'm training to be a MMA fighter. It was more of a joke because I put it on my bucket list. I just want a six pack like I had before. What it came down to on our way home was stopping to pick up a test. I waited till Thursday morning to take it. You know first morning pee is the best but not needed. It came out negative. I well both of us were a little upset at the thought that I wasn't. Steve and I talked and it turns out that we want to share our love again with another baby Needham. Now that it is out in the open we just are going to try to plan what month he or she will be born. I just hope its one baby not twins or three if you count the dreams as a sign. Steve says either way he hopes for more. He makes me laugh so much at the thought of a bigger family. Guess we might need a bigger house. I think I may take up a evening with a warm bath and a radio. I can't forget a glass of wine shit the whole bottle. Well not really.A maybe but with a husband like Steve he is my drug. I adore him. Only if  the Needham household turns from four to six or seven.
We will see I guess.

The Joy of Mothering

"Raising children is definitely not a default chore for women who were not successful in the world of business, power and wealth." by melanie jean Juneau
(I wrote this before Father's Day)
I was just thinking about how I love being a mother yesterday when Justin and I were looking over some neat ideas on Pinterest for Steve for Father's Day. Trust me it's not all cake and cookie's being a mom. I run around 24/7 for my kids nonstop. Sometimes I feel like there are days I'm going to scream when the kids are not being bad just full of spunk that day. They have a lot of energy every day. Then there is work cleaning houses and getting them ready to sell. It's called Fofo the houses.  Don't ask I didn't come up with the name. We are finally getting ready to move into our new house. Steve just painted almost the whole house. The main ones are done. We still have our bathroom and the kid's bathroom to finish. I love it! Adam and Steve did a great job. I can't wait to go shopping to fill the kitchen with wine decor. The living room is going to be a tuff one going with a Mexican theme. Well I will be there now it's done. (Lol) I have so much to unpack. Justin will be nine next month. I don't know where the time went. Justin and I are close but not as much as him and his daddy. I kind of feel left out until today.
                               "Mom I love you. I think you are doing a great job with us."

Justin hugged me and walked away. I have to admit it a tear ran down my face. He still needs me just as much as he needs dad in a different way. Steve is crazy we just moved to Florida and now he is talking about leaving to move to Hawaii. What? Are you kidding me my GPS doesn't work here I know it won't work on an Island. Lola is not the best GPS. Looks like I may need to trade her in.
                  I love being a mom! The ups and downs come with whole territory. I have had more ups then downs. I have my wonderful hubby Steve to thank for that. He does way more than any other man I know. We share 50/50 on house chores which makes it easier with the kids. The dog Justin takes care of so I have no worries there. Christopher is a little on the crazy side a lot of the time but it's okay. He keeps me young. I want to have a farm somehow with chickens and ducks maybe even pigs. Pigs are friends not food! If I say I want it Steve somehow makes it happens. I owe him so much credit for what he does for us. He makes sure we are taken care of. I have to worry about the house half the time. Kid’s maybe 75% of the time and Steve has them the rest of the time.
                  I love talking walks going to the park and doing  whatever the kids want. I adore the time I get to spend with them. I don't look down on myself for not going to college. However I'm a publish writer/ Stay at home mommy who owns a small fish/landscaping company. I think I have done well for myself and family. The most important thing is that my children know that I love them no matter what. I will never turn my back on them ever. Finding time in the summer to work on my second book is a tough one. I mean with going to the beach and I all. My laptop stays at home.

Are you Mom Enough?

I just seen this when I signed onto my facebook. My first reactions was WTH(what the hell). This is not what it looks like to breastfeed your child.It's on time magazine at that. I have conflicting emotions about this. First, of all the kid looks a little on the freaky side just staring at you. I never fed either of my children while they were standing on a chair. I guess to each it's own. I do however think there should be a age limit. I stop nursing both boys when they received teeth. I always sat down with my pillow to feed both of them. With my son Justin I  was nineteen when I had him. The nurse was a little too pushy for me bugging me about nursing Justin. She even tried to pull out my breast for me. I kindly took my breast out of her hand. I told her "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to feed a child. Let my breast go." She did and Justin latch right on without a problem. I produce more than enough for him. At two months being  pregnant I had to wear those uncomfortable breast pads. I was leaking so much. This picture kills me saying Are you mom enough? Really, a mom can be a mom even if she doesn't breastfeed her children. It is her choice plain and simple. So many women chose to because they want to. On the other hand I have heard many reasons why some women won't nurse their children. Again it it their choice. If you never had you should at least try. One big reason I did with Justin well two babies are proven to be smarter, don't get sick and you lose your baby weight twice as fast. Okay, I guess I lied a little more then two.  I would never tell a mother she is not a mom because she didn't breastfeed.  I enjoyed feeding my children. I really did. The closeness you feel to your baby is really important. I always fed with my shirt off with Justin when I was at home so he could have the skin to skin contact. I think by doing that is why we have a close-net bond. Breastfeeding Christopher was something else. Feeding each child is different just like each pregnancy. Christopher wanted to eat all the time an hour sometimes. I would crack up laughing when Steve would come in the room and act like he was going to eat too. Christopher would mumbling and grumble and then he would eat really fast. Steve and I would about die laughing at him. He was telling daddy nope get lost it's all mind. Steve and I explain to Justin what I was doing. After the shock he got over it. If I was feeding Christopher when Justin walked in I didn't rush to cover up it was something natural not to be ashamed about it.I don't want my boys to ever feel bad or embarrass about the human body. It's beautiful. With both boys I could easily pump up to 7 and half ounces out of each breast. I could have sold it of course for a good cause.  I mean Steve did put four ounces in his power shakes twice a day before he hit the gym. He did take it right from the source before he froze and bottle it for shakes. Steve said " It was sweet like me!" I just laugh and shook my head as I took the bags out for his shake. I still think it was a little weird but hey if my son's can drink it he can. Steve did gain ten pounds with his breast milk shakes. He wasn't embarrass about it he told everyone what he was doing. I read it in one of those baby books that a woman's body knows when your baby would be getting up and going to sleep. Night time feeding's had that extra push to make you fall asleep. Steve would always yell from the bedroom "Make sure I don't get a nighttime one like yesterday. I was too sleepy at the gym." Thinking to myself I can't believe my hubby just said that. (laughing) In the last month or so Christopher has wanted to nurse again. I don't know what all that is about. He hasn't yet. In my case I hope not it is very painful when all your milk dry's up. Although I still leak which I'm not surprise I didn't fully dry up till Justin was five.  I'm very grateful that my husband was very supportive with breastfeeding. I didn't hesitate to whip my breast out in Ihop,apple bees,walmart if Christopher wanted to eat I was going to feed him. I was more comfortable feeding Christopher then Justin but I think it was the whole age difference. I covered up with Justin more. Christopher was not having it at all.

Most of the time nursing the boys was okay. Then came the days

when it was hard to feed them. Christopher always wanted to hold on to Daddy's finger or hold his shirt. It didn't matter where we were at he had to do that or it was hell to pay. Justin was more of a laid back feeder but both prefer to lay down. The boys slept with both of us. I miss my bed I really do.  If Christopher isn't in between us I can't sleep same goes for Steve we have tried more then once but it never fails Christopher still ends up in our bed. These are my thought's on nursing my boys. If anyone out there is a stand on a chair feeder please feel free to write. What are your thoughts about this?

Crazy stuff

Kids are daring each other to eat ground cinnamon, no water allowed, in 60 seconds. Kids can experience severe coughing fits, choke, or suffer from pneumonia or other medical conditions as a result. Another one is choking game,and chugging water. I don't know about you but all of these are as stupid as can be. I heard about the ground cinnamon on 89x awhile back. Cinnamon plain is nasty. I don't know where these kids come up with this stuff but my question is why? Where are the parents? Justin is not out of my sight at all expect to go pee and maybe playing basketball. No, he can't go over any one's house unless I know them and I'm in the other room talking with the parents where I can still hear him. Call me overprotected sure but I'm not half as bad as Steve is with Jay. Jay has to be where Daddy can see him no ifs ands or butt's about it. I hate to see how we would be if we had a little girl on top of two brothers. She would really hate life. Whatever happen to playing at the park? Watching TV with your buddies? Maybe playing a game outside and riding a bike. I can remember playing from sun up to sun down when I was Justin's age. If I came inside I had to help my mom clean. I stayed outside as long as I could as long as I was back before I heard her whistle or the street lights came on. Her whistle is so loud that Steve and I heard her in that huge crowd at the Taylor fireworks one year. I told Steve which way to go because that is yup my mom calling us. (true story) Thanks Mom I love you to death.

 Now, that we live by neighbors I'm more cautious then ever before. Steve is a nervous wreck when I let Justin play Basketball outside with the neighborhood kids. Which has been okay for the most part. I find it to be a little strange that I'm the only mother that is checking on her kid. I seen a kid a little younger then Jay with his little sister who look to be about three or four months old. I had to restrain myself from going over there and asking if I could carry her where ever he was going. Not in a million years would I have let Justin carry Christopher around when he was that young. Come on use your head people!

What do you think?

"Loving a child who is not biologically yours is no different then choosing to love your spouse. Both relationships are choices, not a biological bond."

Someone had this on cafemom I read it a few times over and over unsure how to respond to this. I think if a stepmother/step dad choose to love her/his husband/wife child like her own it shouldn't be a problem unless she tries to over step her boundaries. The boundaries I'm referring to would be wanting the child to call her mom because she wants the child to. I think if a child wants to call their step parent mom/dad it should be on the child's terms.(ONLY) Their are a lot of families that are made up of a lot of different people who have no Biological bond at all. Sometimes those relationships are the best. I have never been in a situation like this one but knew a friend who was. The step parent didn't want the child to call her mom but the child understood who was mom and who was mommy. The father however didn't see anything wrong with it sadly this is why he no longer sees his child. The Biological mom took the child and left. Who knows where they are. I still talk to this couple and not once heard either of them mention the child in ten years. I guess it is what it is. Steve and I have talked about this when the time comes if the children come looking for me from my days as an egg donor. I guess I would be their Biological mom but I wouldn't have any connection with them but that. I will not be their mother that JOB is left to whoever raised them. Who went to school plays, basketball and soccer games. I will welcome them with open arms if they want to get to know me. I guess I will have to see if that ever happens. Other boundaries that another parent would cross would be disciplining a child that is not theirs. I don't promote spanking and I believe that should be left up to the parents with a little input from the step parent who spends just as much time with the child. It should be a strong unit with parents and step parents to be on the same page. It makes the child's life better to see everyone happy.

Here are some comments left by other on cafemom.


1.That is a great way to say it!

A biological bond is automatically unconditional love.

With a spouse, or spouses family, it is work to fall in love with him/her and their family. I can tell you it has taken me about 5 out of 7 years to enjoy one sister in laws company... and that is because she matured a lot the past couple of years!

2.The BM's jealousy makes sense, since it is actually her child. It wouldn't be surprising if it would hurt a mother to see her child love another "mother." Her feelings of jealousy would be normal and expected.

But the SM's jealousy of BM is different, because it's not "her child", it's someone else's child. So when she is jealous of the BM, the rightful mother, it's like loving a married man... meaning a man you can't have because he is taken already. The SM is choosing to love that child in the mother/child way, and really, that may not be a very good decision, if the BM is still around.

If the BM is out of the picture, of course it's a different story


3.I *kind of* agree with that statement.

How does it play a role in a blended family.....

well, for one thing, it could cause problems because if you choose to love a child that way, the child might not choose to love you back that way. And then you have an unrequited love... which as we all know, doesn't end well.

Secondly, if you choose to love a child in the parent-child sense, are you able to deal with the fact that the child's biological parent is still around, and the child still loves her? (if that applies).

Often we have SMs who fall in love with their stepchilren in the mother-child way, and it causes problems because the SM is jealous of the BM, who is still involved in the child's life.

So, overall I'd say it can cause all kinds of problems in steplife. If you want to compare it to "choosin to love your spouse," I'd say maybe it compares to falling in love with a married man who wont leave his wife.


Yes, loving someone is a choice people choose who they want to love and who they don't. Either way it's  an honor to love a child that is not yours. It's a shame that many children don't get the chance to love step parents because the real parents have issues they need to work out as adults. There should never be a jealously problem because it's okay for a child to love both. I believe the best thing to do if you are a step parent is to try to be the child's friend at any age. Let them know you are not their parent but a friend. You will not go against their real parent unless it is needed for safety reason. Some step parents step into the role of a parent in the absence of the real parent. I give a lot of credit to these people who take on this huge role. Sometimes it is in the best interest for the child. I wish you all luck. Tell me what you think.





                         I love this quote! Love is a choice not an Obligation.

As in for loving your spouse you love all of them the good the bad, past and the present the furture is what you are. Take it don't look back because the past is in the past. It can't be changed there is no time machine to change it. You let it go and don't look back. People try and hold you down for the choices you made as a woman,man,mother and father at that time you seen it as the best choice you had right or wrong it was your choice move on. Life is only what you make it so make it count.

                                          Love is a choice not an Obligation.

What a View

What a view of the ocean Steve just sent me last night. I love it! I can't wait to meet him there. The boys and I miss him dearly. I know it's only been a week or so but we have never been apart for not even a day since we met. Well it was for only a day when he had to fly to DC. He left that morning and was home for dinner. He is very home sick right now. I talk to him on the phone like crazy. I think I finally have the web chat down it's been a very long time since we have talked on video. Christopher at first didn't understand why Daddy was in the box. Now, he kisses the screen it's too cute. Justin is learning how to cope with not having Daddy around to talk to. He calls him first thing in the morning and first thing after school. He wants me to fly him to Daddy he even started saving his money. If it was up to him he would web chat all day with Daddy.  Justin and Steve do everything together.

On the up side Christopher likes to have screaming contest with Justin all day. Pretty soon I will not be able to hear. I have a pro pitcher on my hands now that Christopher throws his food across the room. He hit me with a banana piece yesterday in the head. The boys thought it was hilarious the way they couldn't stop laughing. I have to admit it was funny he even had sound effects to go with it. Then talking to my hubby Christopher was writing on the walls with a pen. Then my face and he licked his brother. He also decided he didn't want clothes on as he ran though the house naked. Let me tell you there is never a dull moment in the Needham House.

Public Breast Feeding OMG!!!

Love this well said there is so much more to talk about than breast feeding in public. Oh my GOD it's a nipple run! When I breastfeed my little one I made sure my oldest knew what I was doing. I want him to respect women and know what our bodies are for until he can decide what he wants to look at. Before it's pushed in his face at the store. You go girl!!!

What count’s in a child’s life?

I have been thinking about my boys. I really have been thinking about kids in general and the question that pop’s in my head is this. What really counts in a child’s life? I believe that when a parent is involved in their child’s life it’s a very important part of growing up. I mean when they are born to their first words they say. Justin’s first word was mommy and Christopher has already said daddy. Children go through a lot of change from the time they are conceived to their first steps. I miss the baby days now that I can see Christopher go through them. I know relationship get hard and someone always gets hurt.  Families are made up of many people blood or not.  Anger keeps many kids from one parent most of the time because it’s the adult who can’t grow up. They are hurt for reason’s they see fit at the time. The truth is they can’t handle the one they once loved are now with someone else.  Children need people that love them in their lives and only people who truly care about what they are going though. Now don’t get me wrong if the parent is violent in any way yes the child should be kept from them.  Otherwise there is no reason a child should have to grow up without a mother or a father. Children should not be held as leverage for money or personal gain that only one parent benefits from. They only benefit them by hurting the other to see how far they can push their buttons. Some parents just give up because fighting with the other gets nowhere. Some fight back just as hard as the other  then the children grow up knowing not to trust in someone they love.  I see this all the time and it breaks my heart.  Many children are raised by wonderful people who are not their parents to start off at.  They grow with the child they become the parent they have always needed.  Many parents put their goals  first instead of their child well being. We have always put our children first. Steve and I will do anything for our boys.  Justin always see’s us happy we never fight because we have no reason to. We are a very loving couple who enjoys life. It is what it is.

Favorite movies, foods, first smile, first cry, likes and dislikes are something a real parent knows about the wonderful little person that comes up and calls you daddy or mommy.  You are the one they turn to when they are hurt or sad. You know exactly what helps when they are sick. You get to cheer them on at a soccer game. You are there on his first day of school to see that your baby is growing up. You are there when they make the right choice to stand up to another kid who was picking on them. You get to see the light in their little blue eyes when they get an A on the spelling test you help them study for.  Taking them to swimming classes, martial art classes, boy scouts just watching them grow up is a gift in its self. Being able to hug them after they walk out of school is priceless. Watching their little face light up at the zoo or seeing them hug their little brother brings tears to your eyes. Let’s not forget their first broken heart, first love, prom and going off to college.  Children don’t need to hear how bad you think the other parent is by bad mouthing them. Adults need to embrace the time they have with the children they help bring into this world.

Steve and I are able to share all these happy moments in our kid’s lives together. Our boys are going to be great at whatever they chose to do in life because they have are unconditional love and support behind them. I wish more people put the kids first. Life is too short to miss any of the above.